There’s a quiet weight many of us carry…
It doesn’t show up on a scale or in the mirror, but it’s there—
In the “I should have started sooner.”
The “I could have done better.”
The “Why didn’t I…”
And before we know it, we’re living in a loop of yesterday, while today patiently waits to be lived.
Today, July 18th, marks National Toss Away the “Could Haves” and “Should Haves” Day. And honestly, it might be one of the most freeing “holidays” that we choose celebrate. Because true self-care isn’t just what you apply, stretch, sip, or diffuse…
It’s what you release.
Because learning how to let go of the past is one of the most powerful forms of self-care. It supports emotional healing, mental wellness and a deeper connection to your body.
THE HIDDEN COST OF “SHOULD”
“Should” sounds innocent—but it’s sneaky.
It creates pressure without progress.
It keeps your nervous system in a subtle state of stress.
It disconnects you from your body and anchors you in the past.
And here’s the truth:
Your body doesn’t live in yesterday.
Your healing doesn’t happen in regret.
Your peace doesn’t exist in “what if.”
Your body only knows now.
WHAT ARE YOU STILL CARRYING?
Before you can toss something away, you have to recognize you’re holding it.
Take a moment and ask yourself:
- What decisions am I still replaying?
- Where am I being hard on myself?
- What am I wishing I had done differently?
No judgment. Just awareness.
Because awareness is the first act of self-care.
3 WAYS TO “TOSS” THE PAST (For Real This Time)
1. Write It Out — Then Release It
Grab a piece of paper and let it all out.
Write the “should haves.”
Write the “could haves.”
Write the regrets, the guilt, the second-guessing.
Then do something symbolic:
- Tear it up
- Burn it (safely, of course)
- Throw it in the trash
This isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about giving your body a physical signal that you’re letting go.
Holistic Tip: Pair this ritual with an essential oil to support stress relief and nervous system regulation. Take inspired action with
Blue Tansy. Apply behind ears, on wrists or on bottom of feet to stop the self-sabotage and commit to overcoming your setbacks. Or create new beginnings with
Citrus Bloom. Apply around belly button, over heart, on wrists or diffuse to help release stagnant or guilty energy and transform with optimism and joy.
2. Shift From Judgment to Curiosity
Instead of asking: “Why did I do that?”
Try asking: “What did that teach me?”
Growth doesn’t come from punishment—it comes from perspective.
Every “mistake” holds information:
- A boundary you needed
- A lesson you learned
- A strength you didn’t know you had
When you shift the narrative, you support emotional healing and create space for growth.
Holistic Tip: To bring the innocence of your inner child back to life apply
Ylang Ylang over your heart as you sit with these questions. It will help you release the pent up anger and sadness from your self-judgement and remind you that you can be intuitive and free.
3. Bring Yourself Back Into Your Body
Regret lives in the mind—but healing happens in the body.
So if you find yourself spiraling in “what was,” gently guide yourself back to what is.
Try this:
- Take 5 slow, intentional breaths
- Do a gentle stretch (neck rolls, hip openers, spinal twists)
- Place a hand over your heart and one over your belly
This supports mindfulness, present moment awareness, and nervous system support, helping your body feel safe again.
Holistic Tip: When you need extra perspective try diffusing
SuperMint, a powerhouse blend of mints: Japanese Peppermint, Peppermint, Spearmint and Bergamont Mint. Mints are energizing, allowing you to be focused, motivated, confident and rational. They also help you to be optimistic and believe in yourself. SuperMint can also be added to water and enjoyed throughout the day.
WHAT TO FOCUS ON INSTEADWhen you toss the past, you create space. The question is, what will you fill it with?
Presence over perfection
You don’t need to get it all right—you just need to be here for it.
Progress over pressure
Small, consistent steps will always beat harsh expectations.
Connection over criticism
Speak to yourself the way you would a friend… or better yet, the way God speaks to you with grace.
A SIMPLE RESET RITUAL (Try This Today)
If you’re ready for a full “release and reset,” here’s a quick self-care ritual:
- Diffuse a grounding oil (like Balance or Adaptiv)
- Write down 3 “should haves” you’re ready to release
- Physically discard the paper
- Do 3–5 minutes of gentle stretching or mobility work
- End with one affirmation:
“I release what was and receive what is.”
You are not behind.
You are not too late.
You are not defined by what you didn’t do.
You are here.
You are learning.
You are still becoming.
And that is more than enough.
So today, take a breath.
Drop the weight.
Let go of the past.
And step fully into the life that’s waiting for you… right here, right now.
xoDanette