What if the reason you feel tired, tense, distracted, or just “off” isn't that you're doing too much… but that your body hasn't had enough opportunities to come back down from it?
Saturday, August 15 is National Relaxation Day—which sounds like the perfect excuse to take a nap, soak in a bath, or spend the day doing absolutely nothing.
But relaxation is about much more than pampering.
Your body has a built-in relaxation response. And in a world that constantly asks us to hurry, respond, produce, consume, and keep going, learning how to activate that response may be one of the most important forms of self-care we can practice.
STRESS IN DISGUISE
Stress isn't inherently bad.
Your stress response is designed to protect you. When your brain perceives a challenge or threat, your body releases hormones that prepare you to respond. Your heart rate and breathing increase, blood pressure rises, muscles tense, and your body shifts into a “fight-or-flight” state.
That's incredibly useful when you need to react quickly.
The problem is when your body doesn't get the memo that the emergency is over.
And for many of us, there isn't one giant emergency. Instead, it's a steady stream of little ones:
Work deadlines.
School schedules.
Traffic.
Family responsibilities.
Money worries.
News notifications.
Too much screen time.
A packed calendar.
Poor sleep.
Relationship stress.
Health concerns.
And that endless mental to-do list running quietly in the background.
One stressor ends and another begins before your nervous system gets much of a chance to settle. Over time, chronic stress can contribute to or worsen problems such as headaches, digestive issues, sleep difficulties, muscle tension, trouble concentrating, changes in appetite and energy, and worsening of existing health conditions.
And here's something that really caught my attention:
You may be stressed without even realizing you're stressed.
WHEN STRESS STARTS FEELING NORMAL
We tend to think stress looks like panic, overwhelm, or someone saying, “I'm SO stressed!”
But chronic stress doesn't always announce itself that way.
Sometimes it sounds more like:
“I'm just tired.”
“I haven't been sleeping well lately.”
“I can't shut my brain off.”
“My shoulders are always tight.”
“I just need another cup of coffee.”
“That's just how life is.”
And sometimes we minimize our own stress because someone else “has it worse.”
But stress isn't a competition.
Your nervous system doesn't need your problems to qualify as “bad enough” before it responds.
You don't have to wait until you're completely overwhelmed to start taking care of yourself.
NOT MORE TIME. MORE INTENTIONAL RESET.
This is where I want to change the way we think about relaxation.
You don't necessarily need an hour. You don't need a spa day. And you certainly don't need to wait until everything on your to-do list is finished—which, let's be honest, may never happen.😉
Instead, think about relaxation in three layers:
30 seconds → interrupt the stress response.
2 minutes → change your state.
Long-term → change your baseline.
Let's make that practical.
30-SECOND RESET
For the moments when life isn't stopping.
Sometimes you don't have time to step away. You have a meeting starting. A child needs you. You're sitting in traffic. You're standing in line. Your next class is about to begin.
That's okay. You can still create a tiny reset.
At work or school:
Before opening the next email, answering the phone, or walking into class, drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Relax your hands. Take one slow, comfortable breath and allow your exhale to be a little longer.
In the car:
Before starting the engine—or after you've arrived but before you walk inside—put the car in park. Take three slow breaths. Feel your feet against the floor. Notice what's around you.
You're creating a tiny transition between where you've been and where you're going.
In public:
If you're feeling overstimulated, quietly bring your attention back to the present. Notice one thing you can see, one thing you can hear, and one physical sensation you can feel.
At home:
Someone pushes a button? Pause. Take a breath. Soften your shoulders. Then respond.
Sometimes the most powerful self-care is the space between a trigger and your reaction.
2-MINUTE RESET
For when you can step away—but life isn't giving you an hour.
Try the Look • Breathe • Move Reset.
LOOK
Slowly scan your surroundings. Let your eyes move instead of staring at one point or one screen.
BREATHE
Take several comfortable breaths. Don't force enormous breaths. Simply slow things down and allow your exhale to be slightly longer than your inhale.
Slow breathing is one of the simplest relaxation techniques we can practice, and research suggests diaphragmatic breathing may help reduce stress and modestly lower blood pressure.
MOVE
Roll your shoulders. Stretch your neck gently. Open and close your hands. Stand up. Walk around the room. Shake out some tension…
You don't have to complete a workout. You're simply reminding your body that it doesn't have to stay frozen in one position while your brain races ahead.
At work: Walk to refill your water instead of keeping it at your desk.
At school: Step outside between classes and get some natural light.
In the car: Turn off the podcast, music, and notifications for two minutes. Let your brain experience quiet.
At home: Put your phone down, step outside, stretch, or make yourself a cup of tea—and actually sit down while you drink it.
In public: Find a quieter corner or step outside for a couple of minutes. You don't have to push through every bit of stimulation.
Small breaks count.
Research specifically recommends taking breaks from news and social media, staying physically active, spending time outdoors, practicing deep breathing and stretching, and connecting with others as healthy ways to manage stress.
LONGER-TERM RESET
Don't wait until your nervous system is screaming for rest.
The biggest change happens when relaxation becomes part of your routine instead of your rescue plan.
Try building little recovery rituals into the natural transitions of your day.
Morning: Start gently
Instead of making your phone the first thing your brain consumes, give yourself a few minutes for breathing, prayer, stretching, sunlight, or simply sitting quietly.
Midday: Interrupt the stress cycle
Move your body. Drink some water. Step outside. Take a few slow breaths. Give yourself a genuine mental break.
After work or school: Create a transition ritual
Change clothes. Take a walk. Workout. Shower. Stretch. Listen to calming music. Use an aroma you associate with relaxation (I love
Adaptiv® Calming Blend). Give your brain a recognizable signal that that part of your day is finished.
Evening: Turn down the stimulation
Do something that doesn't require you to perform, produce, accomplish, or check something off a list:
Dim the lights. Put the phone down. Read. Journal. Pray. Practice gentle stretching. Take a warm bath. Diffuse an aroma you find comforting (
Serenity Restful Blend is my go-to).
And don't underestimate sleep. Most adults need at least seven hours, and sleep gives the body time to repair and helps support normal daytime functioning.
Weekly: Schedule restoration
Do something simply because it makes your soul feel good… Nature. A massage. Time with people who fill your cup. A hobby. A nap. A quiet morning. Laughter. Worship. A creative activity. Remember, this isn’t a checklist – do what you enjoy.
RELAXATION ISN'T ALWAYS STILLNESS
Here's where I think we sometimes get relaxation wrong. We picture someone sitting perfectly still with their eyes closed, meditating in complete silence. And if that's your thing—wonderful!
But relaxation doesn't have to look the same for everyone.
Sometimes relaxation is stillness.
A quiet room. A good book. Prayer. Meditation. Deep breathing. A warm bath.
These practices can help intentionally activate the body's relaxation response—the opposite of the stress response. Relaxation techniques are associated with slower breathing, reduced heart rate, lower blood pressure, and reduced stress-hormone activity.
Sometimes relaxation is movement.
A walk outside. Gentle stretching. Yoga. Tai chi. Dancing around your kitchen. A leisurely bike ride.
Movement can help release physical tension, shift your attention away from rumination, and support overall physical and emotional well-being. Regular physical activity is also one of the healthy strategies recommended for managing stress.
Sometimes relaxation is warmth.
A warm shower. A bath. A heating pad. A sauna.
Warmth can feel soothing to tense muscles and can become a powerful part of a wind-down ritual—especially when you intentionally pair it with slower breathing, quiet, or another calming practice.
Sometimes relaxation is touch.
Massage. Gentle self-massage. Fascia release. Stretching. A hug from someone you love.
Human connection and comforting touch can be incredibly grounding. And sometimes what your body needs isn't another thing to do—it's simply to feel cared for.
Sometimes relaxation is sensory.
Music. Nature sounds. Soft lighting. A favorite blanket. Fresh air. A comforting scent.
Essential oils can fit beautifully into this category. Aromas can become part of a personal relaxation ritual because our sense of smell is closely connected with memory and emotion. The goal isn't to expect an oil to magically eliminate stress. It's to intentionally create a sensory cue that says, “We're slowing down now.”
If you'd like to see my personal product recommendations for creating a calming routine, I've already shared them in my post “
When Stress Gets Personal.”
Sometimes relaxation is cooling down.
This one deserves a little clarification because “cooling down” can mean different things.
For some people, a cool shower, cool rinse, or cold-water exposure can feel refreshing and invigorating after a hot, physically demanding, or overstimulating day. Rather than thinking of cold exposure as automatically “relaxing,” think of it as another type of sensory input that some people enjoy as part of their recovery routine.
And you don't need to jump into an ice bath to experiment with it. A cool rinse at the end of a shower may be enough.
Sometimes relaxation is connection.
A conversation with a friend. A hug. Dinner with your family. Laughing until your stomach hurts. Sitting beside someone you love without either of you needing to say much.
Our nervous systems don't live in isolation. Sometimes the thing that helps us feel safe again is simply feeling connected.
And sometimes…
relaxation is doing absolutely nothing.
No podcast. No productivity. No scrolling. No errands. No guilt. Just being.
STOP GUESSING: MATCH THE RECOVERY TO WHAT YOU NEED
One reason people struggle with self-care isn't because they don't care about themselves.
It's because there are too many choices.
Meditate?
Stretch?
Take a bath?
Go for a walk?
Use essential oils?
Take a nap?
Do yoga?
Try a sauna?
Take a cold shower?
Call a friend?
Read?
Journal?
When you're already overwhelmed, deciding how to relax can become one more thing to figure out.
So instead, ask yourself one simple question:
“What does my body need right now?”
If your mind is racing:
Try slow breathing, mindfulness, prayer, journaling, quiet, or guided relaxation.
If your body feels tense:
Try gentle stretching, walking, massage, warmth, or progressive muscle relaxation.
If you're overstimulated:
Reduce noise and screens. Step outside. Dim the lights. Give your senses less to process.
If you're restless or stuck in your head:
Move. Walk. Stretch. Dance. Get outside.
If you're emotionally depleted:
Connect with someone. Laugh. Cry. Pray. Spend time in nature. Do something that genuinely fills your cup.
If you're physically exhausted:
Rest. Hydrate. Eat nourishing food. Protect your sleep.
And if you're dealing with persistent or overwhelming stress, don't assume you simply need to “relax better.” Sometimes stress is a sign that you need additional support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional.
There isn't one perfect relaxation tool. There's the tool that helps you come back to yourself.
This National Relaxation Day, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO EXHALE
Maybe you don't need another productivity hack. Maybe you need a recovery habit.
You don't have to eliminate every stressor from your life. That's probably impossible.
Instead, learn to notice when your body is carrying more than your mind realizes—and give it regular opportunities to come back down.
Thirty seconds...
Two minutes...
Ten minutes...
A quiet evening. A good night's sleep. A weekly reset. A walk in the sunshine. A warm bath. A stretch. A prayer. A conversation. A deep breath.
Those moments may seem small, but they are opportunities to remind your body:
You are safe.
You can slow down.
You don't have to be “on” all the time.
It's okay to rest.
So this National Relaxation Day, don't just wish you could relax.
Practice it.
Because self-care is necessary. Relaxation isn't something you have to earn. And sometimes the most productive thing you can do… is give your body permission to exhale.
xoDanette
P.S. If you only remember one thing from this post, let it be this: you don't have to wait until you're overwhelmed to take care of yourself. Thirty seconds counts. Two minutes counts. Rest counts. And yes… you are absolutely worth slowing down for. 💛